Noisetheory.com
The world's premier online cowsay provider.
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/ Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek, \
| shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm |
| as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like |
| bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood; |
| she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a |
| man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the |
| right road: a man like Alf Romeo. |
| -- Rachel Sheeley, winner |
| |
| The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never |
| see her little dog Pritzi again. |
| -- Claudia Fields, runner-up |
| |
| It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a |
| tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it |
| was determined that Byron was simply a jerk. |
| -- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up |
| |
| Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is |
| named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy |
| night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the |
\ worst possible novel. /
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